Don’t know if I can rely on you
after all is said and done

Nastiest things said to me
have been exclaimed by you

And no doubt you see me as scum
for all the mistakes I’ve made and
all the adversity I’ve faced throughout
the duration of my adulthood

If I should fall, I won’t drag you down
in the same way you have with your
resentments and your envy, and you
know damn well you possess the
venom of the snakes you embody

I was addicted to you like nicotine
and you were a habit I needed
to kick, for you stifled my breathing

All the while, you tried to save face
while I saw the evil, saw the seven
sins you dissolved into seven seas

You will never value me, you will only
see me as an obstacle in the same
way you once saw me as a gateway
to a land no poet is ever promised

There is no tomorrow for us and a
fortnight filled with empty apologies
won’t win me over, and to this day
I wonder if the past twenty years
were genuine, or if I’m simply a
scapegoat for your inadequacy

For certain, there will come a point
where I can forgive you, but if I
should fall from grace with God
I would flop like an asphyxiating
fish, turn into a better version of
myself as an angel, and bless
the rivers on the shores of
my meandering madness

Soon enough, I will stop wondering
if you ever gave a shit about me